cesary

Full of surprises, challenges, trials, hurt feelings, joy in simple things, envious, doubt, fears, conclusions — full packed!

SURPRISES: I got the opportunity to experience dialysis in a closer perspective. I’m currently in the dialysis rendering my volunteer duty for another 6 months. I started May 11, 2009.

I realized, time is really really short to just wait for nonsense. I’m talking about waiting for that somebody to notice your existence, hell yeah.. I’ll let this feeling just go away and fade until it hurts no more.

CHALLENGES: Another learning gained.. and another one to go.. Yeah! Dialysis is not simple as it may seem. You must have the “Clinical Eye” to trouble shoot your patient, or better yet, to prevent trouble shooting..

TRIALS: Everyone of us has their own share of problems, and yeah, I also have some.. Well, I’m still here, “no to suicide” is one of my motto, you will not end your suffering, you will just add kerosene to a burning log. Your family will be greatly devastated and your body will be burned over and over again in inferno.

HURT FEELINGS: First of all, from the guy that I wanted the most. I’m here, he’s there, what more can I do? I’m a girl, I can’t do anything to make him fall for me.. wait! .. no! That would be a crime, not to anybody else but to my conscience.. Second, from my family. I feel squeezed between two pillars of sturdy rocks. My parents keep on jolting me to study for my exams, I always say, I know what I’m doing, I’m just managing my time. The truth is, I really want to study for myself, but the time won’t let me, I’m squeezing my time and expanding it to fit all the things I should do for a day. Hmph.

JOY IN SIMPLE THINGS: Being with my family every second is a big joy for me. I’m glad I was brought up to this world in simple things, it made me who I am right now.. full of principles, beliefs, under the grace of the Lord.

ENVIOUS: I’m honest.

DOUBT: More on the guy I want the most. I thought he want me too. I guess I’m wrong.

FEARS: My major fear since I was small is when I wake up one day and realize that time passed me by in spending it with my parents. I love my family so much more than my life..

CONCLUSIONS:

1. You can’t stop or freeze time

2. You can’t make anybody fall for you.. even if you think you can..

3. Life is made mostly of simple things. So if you don’t appreciate simple things, I’m sorry to say, you’re not living life to the fullest.

4. Making friends is really easy, but making them stay isn’t..

5. Certain people are just ‘high’ due to taking in so much “pride”.. they can’t even say I’m sorry or thank you.

6. I you really want something, I suggest you don’t give up easily.. ;i

7. Cooling off gives you time to think clearly.. and now I know the answer to my question.. =]

8. People are mean, all of them. It’s because of their tough experiences in life. You don’t have the right to blame them, because you’re one of them too..

9. Being mean doesn’t entitle you to do mean things. You are a human being, the highest form of living thing in the world.. you’re not an animal.. so control your temper..

10. Love truly, until your chest hurt, until your heart engorges due to tachycardia, until your face flushes, until you experience goose bumps in your whole body, until your eyes will pop out of their sockets, until your body turns warm all over, and until there’s no reason to love anymore..

11. so on and so on.. There’s so many more to write and so little time..

– Ask, and you will be answered..

– Cesary Jo Sanchez Dequiña